These are some quotes that just tickle me…

“You go into any men’s section and it’s all blacks and browns, walk over to the women’s area and it’s like getting a blow job from a rainbow.”

Her: I’d totally make out with you!
Me: What??!!?!
Her: Sorry, I was talking to her (points at the girl working next to her).
Last time I was at the Dairy Queen drive thru…

“I need a platonic sugar daddy.”

“Telling a guy I work with to try a sandwich shop down the street,
His response:
“Na, I want something smothered in something” ”

“Embrace your freedom to be angry and eat junk food.”

“Larry says to bring him a toothbrush. And some Crest whitening formula! He’ll gift you a Pall Mall nonfilter…”  Me to another person when I told them I was camping with Larry Harvey at Burning Man.